I always knew I wanted to have two kids. I never thought they would be five years apart in age but things don’t always workout as we planned. Even though we didn’t plan it this way, I figured it would ultimately be easier since The Love Nugget would be older and more independent.
Easy, doesn’t really describe the transition we’ve had from one to two kids….
It hasn’t been horrible, but it hasn’t been as easy as I had hoped it would be. From the moment The Love Nugget laid eyes on his little brother, he’s been stand offish. To put it nicely. He hasn’t held him has barely touched him and hasn’t really wanted to be near him. Or me for that matter. When he came to the hospital, he wouldn’t sit on the bed with me let alone with me holding the baby. We had to bribe him just to sit near me to take a picture.
When we came home from the hospital, we thought things might be better since we’d be in our own, comfortable environment. Boy were we wrong! We were suddenly found that we had a completely different kid. Talk about ATTITUDE! He had one and a big one. We had never seen this side of him before and it was difficult to say the least. He was especially tough on me. Obviously I know why but it doesn’t make it any easier. Like I said I had expected some difference in his behavior and an adjustment period but this was a completely different kid.
Doesn’t he look thrilled…
After a few heart to heart discussions he broke down and told us he didn’t like that his mom wasn’t playing with him anymore because I was always holding the baby. My heart broke a little but I fought back tears and told him that it would get better as the baby got older and that he just has to learn to share a little bit now. That next morning I woke him up and asked him to go on a walk with just me. He jumped out of bed and we went on a nice 30 minute walk alone. He held my hand the entire time and talked my ear off.
Breastfeeding and playing word games with The Love Nugget
Since then I’ve been making more of an effort to do things with him even if I’m holding the baby. He’s been much better and was even extremely helpful on my first outing with just the boys. He’s starting to warm up to his little brother and even tries to make him happy when he is crying. I know we’ll probably continue to have ups and downs which is to be expected when you rock someones little world like we did.
Finally held him on 4th of July!
Like I said I expected an adjustment period it’s just been hard to actually experience it. Making room in my heart for two kids hasn’t been hard but knowing that he feels like I love him less or don’t have time for him is definitely hard. Knowing it will get easier and that one day they’ll be best buddies is keeping me going 🙂