Becoming a Mom of Two

Becoming a Mom of Two

I always knew I wanted to have two kids.  I never thought they would be five years apart in age but things don’t always workout as we planned.  Even though we didn’t plan it this way, I figured it would ultimately be easier since The Love Nugget would be older and more independent.

Easy, doesn’t really describe the transition we’ve had from one to two kids….

It hasn’t been horrible, but it hasn’t been as easy as I had hoped it would be.  From the moment The Love Nugget laid eyes on his little brother, he’s been stand offish.  To put it nicely.  He hasn’t held him has barely touched him and hasn’t really wanted to be near him.  Or me for that matter.  When he came to the hospital, he wouldn’t sit on the bed with me let alone with me holding the baby.   We had to bribe him just to sit near me to take a picture.

IMG_2572 2

When we came home from the hospital, we thought things might be better since we’d be in our own, comfortable environment.  Boy were we wrong! We were suddenly found that we had a completely different kid.  Talk about ATTITUDE!  He had one and a big one.  We had never seen this side of him before and it was difficult to say the least.  He was especially tough on me.  Obviously I know why but it doesn’t make it any easier.  Like I said I had expected some difference in his behavior and an adjustment period but this was a completely different kid.

IMG_2609

Doesn’t he look thrilled… 

After a few heart to heart discussions he broke down and told us he didn’t like that his mom wasn’t playing with him anymore because I was always holding the baby.  My heart broke a little but I fought back tears and told him that it would get better as the baby got older and that he just has to learn to share a little bit now.  That next morning I woke him up and asked him to go on a walk with just me.  He jumped out of bed and we went on a nice 30 minute walk alone.  He held my hand the entire time and talked my ear off.

IMG_2815

Breastfeeding and playing word games with The Love Nugget

Since then I’ve been making more of an effort to do things with him even if I’m holding the baby.  He’s been much better and was even extremely helpful on my first outing with just the boys.  He’s starting to warm up to his little brother and even tries to make him happy when he is crying.  I know we’ll probably continue to have ups and downs which is to be expected when you rock someones little world like we did.

IMG_2796

Finally held him on 4th of July!

Like I said I expected an adjustment period it’s just been hard to actually experience it.  Making room in my heart for two kids hasn’t been hard but knowing that he feels like I love him less or don’t have time for him is definitely hard.  Knowing it will get easier and that one day they’ll be best buddies is keeping me going 🙂

 

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Comments

  1. Laurel Besecker says:

    Good morning,
    Every child is so different you were pretty good at 3 1/2 years old when Cody and I came home, but girls think of new babies as big dolls that they can mother.
    Then when I had Curtis you were great so not on;y did Cody lose my attention but he also lost your friendship he wouldn’t even sit next to grandma if she was holding Curt or me for months.
    The night before Curt was born as I put him to bed, I told him I would have the baby by morning his reply was you will have the baby then you will give it to me it’s my baby!
    I love you and I know it’s hard.

  2. Aww That is so sad but completely understandable with The Love Nugget! So glad he told you what was up so you guys had a way to help him deal with it and spend time with him. He’s been the only child for 5 years and I know they will be best buds down the road, but yes, his life changed and he misses his mommy 🙁 You’re doing so fantastic, though, juggling both!

  3. Jennifer says:

    I’m sure this is completely normal. I’m six years older than my sister and my mom tells me I had a very difficult time adjusting. I purposely had my kids as close together as I medically could and I thought it was super easy to adjust (sorry to brag!) my oldest was so little that she didn’t care at all. Now I’m trying for a third though and they are much older so it will be interesting. My oldest, 9, is very excited but my almost 8 year old is afraid I won’t have time for her and that I won’t love her as much. I know it will be fine long term but I need to make sure to make her feel very important.

  4. I love that you’re sharing this–I bet so many new moms of two are out there wondering if this is normal or what to do will feel so much better after reading this. Sounds like everybody is beginning to adjust!